Due date

Today was Lauren's due date. I really thought through most of the pregnancy that she would be late because of it being my first and family history. Sam and I were both almost 10 pound babies and I was 3 weeks late when I was born. So when the blood pressure issues hit around 32 weeks and there was talk of taking her early I wasn't prepared. Part of me actually feels better that we've made it to this day and that she's thriving so well outside in the world. I went to a breast feeding support group on Monday and weighed her. She had gained 11 oz in 5 days and I even made sure to weigh her without her clothes or diaper on. That made me feel really good since I've just been breast feeding and wasn't sure if she was getting enough. Breast feeding is actually going pretty well. I'm not as sore anymore and am producing enough milk that I've started to store some today.

Nights have been the hardest part for me. Even before pregnancy and having her I've always valued and been extremely anxious about getting my sleep. In general Lauren does well - last night though she was up from 10-12:30 crying and eating. Every time I'd put her down as she was falling asleep she'd be up crying 5 minutes later. It was really hard but then she slept from 12:30 to 4 and that was nice for me :) I ended up buying the swaddle blanket before she was born and we swaddle her tightly before putting her in the bassinet which seems to keep her content for the most part. That and having the pacifier in definitely helps.

I have just been so unprepared for the emotional part of this postpartum period. I have really good days and then others where I feel really down and cry so easily. Definitely baby blues - I'm just hoping that it really does end in the next week. My OB Dr. Mills called me this morning just to check on how I was doing. I don't think she really realized how much it meant to me. We talked for 20 minutes and she really encouraged me through this time. Since she has Monday's off she even suggested we go for lunch together. I feel like she's a friend and not just my doctor and I think that's why I was feeling so much sadness about not being able to see her as much anymore in the beginning. She is truly an amazing woman and doctor - I would recommend her to anyone!